if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
