He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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