I want to stick my p in your. b.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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