is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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