Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
