At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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