You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
