Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
