I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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