i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
