her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
