My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
