I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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