Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am one with the molecules
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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