Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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