tell your sister to shave her snatch
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
