I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The feeling are messing with the penis
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
