everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
