your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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