But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
