Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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