my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
