Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
