I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
