my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
