My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
