my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
