Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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