Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
