My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
