Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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