This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
