I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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