Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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