My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Fuck appropriateness.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
