Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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