yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
