My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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