I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
