Screwed.edu
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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