How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
