ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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