apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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