My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
