If i come over, it means nothing
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
