we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
