So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
