Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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