Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish i was in the wii world.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
