do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
