Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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