I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
