There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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