so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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