Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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