im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Drunk is not a location!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize