God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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