Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
