I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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